The Floogledorf Doctrine

Taken from a conversation with Brian Fogal

2005-08-30T17:58:25Z

Sk8brdr8803: hey
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: heyy
Sk8brdr8803: look what I got the day before yesterday
Sk8brdr8803 wants to directly connect.
Sk8brdr8803 is now directly connected.
Sk8brdr8803:

Sk8brdr8803: :-D its big
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: whoah! that is one cool fucking ruler!

from heathers myspace blog titled: "Tony Pwns"

2005-08-19T06:33:50Z

RoXy 884604: OH MY GEEE ITS LIKE TONY
MangoChutn3y: ur message made me smile.
RoXy 884604: hahhaa with the pnwed??
MangoChutn3y: yeah
MangoChutn3y: thats soo mine
RoXy 884604: I KNOW
MangoChutn3y: u should just headbutt him for that
RoXy 884604: lmfao i should call him and be like "NO.... JUST NO!"
MangoChutn3y: haha call him and say "remember when u said pwned before? STOP IT!!!" then hang up

RoXy 884604: okay i have 2 questions
MangoChutn3y: le sigh. BEGIN THE QUESTIONS
RoXy 884604: okay first question.. what does pwn mean???
MangoChutn3y: pwn is the 1337 version of "own". commonly used in computer games to describe how one superior player dominates a inferior player in a extremely 1337 way.
RoXy 884604: okay well now i have 2 more questions.... wuts 1337????
MangoChutn3y: 1337=leet=elite. aka: amazing, superior, best, awesome, etc....(in computer/video games)
RoXy 884604: o0o0o0o0o0o0o i think i kinda get it... its just wayy to sophitimicated genious talk for a commoner like me to grasp
MangoChutn3y: yes, it requires years of practice and awesomeness.

RoXy 884604: he didnt believe it was stinkys
RoXy 884604: GODDAMMIT
MangoChutn3y: i think a kick to the groin is in order.
RoXy 884604: hahahha yea but i dont wanna do any permanent damage
MangoChutn3y: well, his names justin. its ok
RoXy 884604: y does that matter?
MangoChutn3y: why ask?????
RoXy 884604: why does his name have anything to do with the fact that im gonna like kick the sperm out of his balls?
MangoChutn3y: well, im tony.
RoXy 884604: ::pretends to get it::
MangoChutn3y: yes!

RoXy 884604: can u do me a favor??? i know i ask alot
MangoChutn3y: god heather, im not a cheap whore!

MangoChutn3y: u kow whats funny?
RoXy 884604: cheese???
MangoChutn3y: how u have 177 friends, but like 5 are ur REAL friends.
RoXy 884604: yea i know... this is true...
RoXy 884604: i even like deleted alot of them.. but hte number never changed
MangoChutn3y: LOSER!!!
MangoChutn3y: sure, sure
RoXy 884604: i swear
RoXy 884604: so that FORBIDDEN.... (my true friend) could be seen
MangoChutn3y: yeah i hate having ugly ppl on my front
RoXy 884604: hahah yea i had like a radio station
MangoChutn3y: i like cheese
RoXy 884604: i enjoy cheese on the proper occasion.... OKAY FINE IM EATING CHEDDER RIGHT NOW....
MangoChutn3y: u like cheese alot
RoXy 884604: FINE
RoXy 884604: guilty
MangoChutn3y: heather, i have an idea
RoXy 884604: OKAY
MangoChutn3y: im gunna leave u a comment.
RoXy 884604: awesome
MangoChutn3y: I JUST LEFT U 2 AWESOME COMMENTS
RoXy 884604: i think .... ::checks:: yes i just wet my pants
MangoChutn3y: thanks, i rool.
RoXy 884604: i know
MangoChutn3y: omfg leave me a comment on one of my equally awesome pictures!!!!
RoXy 884604: FINE god wut more od you want from me... YOUR HIGHNESS
MangoChutn3y: a mountain dew would be nic.e
RoXy 884604: kay
RoXy 884604: lmfao read the comment right now RIGHT NOW YOUR LIFE DEPENDS UPON IT
MangoChutn3y: lol okays!
MangoChutn3y: lol, amazing.
MangoChutn3y: i can reach stuff, on higher shelves.
RoXy 884604: hahahha
RoXy 884604: true
MangoChutn3y: u can...eat....more cheese...then the, average...man.
RoXy 884604: lmfao thanks!! :-D
MangoChutn3y: i want soup
RoXy 884604: soup can be most comforting
MangoChutn3y: a nice thick delicious hearty soup of meat!
RoXy 884604: MMMmmMMMM meat soup... i remember the days when my mom would make us rat chunk suprise jumbalia....
MangoChutn3y: lol thats just weird.
RoXy 884604: i was just .. uhh.... kidding....
MangoChutn3y: i know, im not retarded.
RoXy 884604: its not like there was a winner if you found the actual carcus
MangoChutn3y: oh of course not

Tonights Topics: ....

2005-08-12T03:06:41Z

GaGs Vs AmErIcA: CHARLIE IN THE TREE LINE!
MangoChutn3y: OMFG
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: k that's 2nite's entry.
MangoChutn3y: alright.

Today's Topics: Matt's Dad, Semen, Emo, Paintball fuck-ups, Compton, Oreos.

2005-08-10T05:47:58Z

MangoChutn3y: matthew.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: buh??
MangoChutn3y: ur dad has a screen name?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: bluto629
MangoChutn3y: lolerblades......
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: bluto for the guy in animal house...
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: or was it the guy from popeye?
MangoChutn3y: popeye
MangoChutn3y: and i think animal house
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i know but which is it?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: the animal house 1 would be cooler.
MangoChutn3y: well, its ur dad. so probably popeye. hes not cool enough for animal house
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: yeah....i suppose so.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i mean...his seamen made ME.
MangoChutn3y: i think its spelled semen.
MangoChutn3y: the roads spelt seamen
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: yeah, but i like spelling it seamen.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: it makes it feel like your weiner is actually a submarine.
MangoChutn3y: good point
MangoChutn3y: i hate emo people.
MangoChutn3y: now that i think of it, there lower then black ppl.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: haha what brought this up, u didn't get dragged into an aim profile with my chemical romance all over it did u?
MangoChutn3y: no i was just remembering something from today, its a somewhat story. so wanna hear it!?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i get the feeling you're about to tell me anyway from the great set up!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: so go!
MangoChutn3y: score.
MangoChutn3y: ok anyways
MangoChutn3y: i went to the paintball store, so i can buy a new circuit board for my awesome and sexy gun, which can be seen here.
MangoChutn3y: so i go there, and i called ahead to ask if they had the part, and i brought the gun anyway to make sure itd fit and work for it. so after 5 minutes of talking about if itd work in my gun and the salesman assuring me itd work better, i bought the board.
MangoChutn3y: so im all excited, as i had my new part to get my favorite gun to work, so when i arrive home i take it out of the package, get all the parts out and get ready to put the new board in.
MangoChutn3y: so after trying to put it in, i realize that its too thick and doesnt fit right in the handle. so after fidgeting with it for an hour i yell to my brother that they gave me the wrong board, and as the label shows that it is the same company but different model gun.
MangoChutn3y: so i have to wait until thursday to see if i can exchange the board for the right one, to these pushy, pompous, asshat salespersons that decided to give me the wrong part.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: TONY! how can you be so blind!? THE PAINTBALL STORE IS A FRONT FOR NIGGERS TO PUSH THEIR KOOL AID AND FRIED CHICKEN ON THE YOUNG PEOPLE OF AMERICA!
MangoChutn3y: well it was on deer park avenue. we literally passed a gun store, liquor store, kfc, gun store, bail bonds store.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: come on, that's ur basic compton. or harlem.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i mean come on.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: did u have to buy it from a guy behind bullet proof glass?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: then it was compton.
MangoChutn3y: no, but the guy was black.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: I KNEW IT!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: it's a conspiracy.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: and i will not rest until THEY ARE BROUGHT DOWN!
MangoChutn3y: so lets go tomorrow
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i can't i've gotta nap for a long time tomorrow and then maybe eat some more.
MangoChutn3y: didnt u have to visit ur fgt grandma
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: yeah, see what i just said was a joke to play into the irony of saying "I WILL NOT REST"
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i am going to see my grandma tomorrow.
MangoChutn3y: oh i got it now. it wasnt that great tho.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: we're having pancakes.
MangoChutn3y: fatty
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: chocolate chip pancakes.
MangoChutn3y: delicious
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: yeah man.
MangoChutn3y: i want oreos.
MangoChutn3y: NOW
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ME 2!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ....i put them in a glass, add milk and eat them with a spoon.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: that's how us fat kids do it.
MangoChutn3y: oh man i drop them in the milk, wait til they sink then get a spoon to pick them up
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: FINE! i suppose that's acceptable.
MangoChutn3y: well, is this a entry?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i believe it is.

Today's Topics: Myspace, Megaman, Punching kids with glasses

2005-07-29T07:15:16Z

MangoChutn3y: matt.
MangoChutn3y: are u doing drugs again?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: no
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i just conquered dr. wiley's team of evil robots.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i'm just happy.
MangoChutn3y: what was with that weird ass bulletin on myspace
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i had to make it.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i couldnt take the chain letters anymore.
MangoChutn3y: there seriously is too fucking many
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: "send this to 40 people and someone will forget that you're the definition of gay."
MangoChutn3y: exactly
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: "send this to 800 people or crash bandicoot will fuck your sister."
MangoChutn3y: lol
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i never forgave that damn bandicoot.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: he never called my sister again.
MangoChutn3y: BASTARD!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: but i seriously did just beat megaman 2.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: and i am proud.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i beat a game that came out in 1989.
MangoChutn3y: it was hard tho
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: daaaaaaamn straight!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: HE CANT SHOOT UP!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: HIS NAME IS MEGAMAN!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: THAT'S NOT TO MEGA!
MangoChutn3y: its not kinda-megaman
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: there was a fucking bubble man in this game.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: bubbleman.
MangoChutn3y: hell suds ur ass bitch.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: it's better than what i saw in megaman 4...
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ...hardman.
MangoChutn3y: cant even give him a slightly more creative name, like steel man or rockman
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: might as well call him "the bonnerator."
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: funny you should say that, stoneman was a bitch and a half.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: and i kicked pharoman's egyptian ass.
MangoChutn3y: u deported his foreign ass
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: teach him for fucking around with...sand.
MangoChutn3y: and.....sand
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: the next game should have emoman.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: and the power u get from him is bleeding on people.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: or crying.
MangoChutn3y: u get there and ur like "ill defeat you!" then he kills himself.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: megaman's more like poserman.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: he steals everyone's powers.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: that's just gay.
MangoChutn3y: u know whats gunna happen to him if he keeps that shit up
MangoChutn3y: copyrightmans gunna use his lawsuit cannon and fuck his day up
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: land him in a jail cell with assrapeman.
MangoChutn3y: he seriously needs to go and make up his own god dam powers.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: that gun's a pussy gun.
MangoChutn3y: it shoots like, eggs
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: that like...don't do....much.
MangoChutn3y: they barely hurt him
MangoChutn3y: he definitly jumped the other guys to steal there guns
MangoChutn3y: there should be compton man, he does drive bys.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: pacifist man.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: get to the end of the level.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: no one's there.
MangoChutn3y: hippyman
MangoChutn3y: he follows u and protests EVERYTHING YOU DO
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: schiavoman.
MangoChutn3y: doesnt do anything
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: pfft. are u kidding?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: she has a real beeping IV.
MangoChutn3y: that might get some liquid cheeseburger on ur stolen armor.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: well, we just talked about megaman for a good half hour.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: pack it in?
MangoChutn3y: wtf does that mean
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: it's a 1920's military expression.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: actually idk.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: closing statements?
MangoChutn3y: um...something new.
MangoChutn3y: it must suck to be wearing glasses, and get punched in the face. cause thats like a punch and close quarters shank by ur own glasses.
MangoChutn3y: so, if ur gunna get into a fight. take off ur glasses. or the terrorists win.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: well said tony, well said.
MangoChutn3y: thank you....i rool.

Epitome of nonsense

2005-07-16T05:07:10Z

MangoChutn3y: i just ate a starburst and it tasted like christmas tree.

Today's Topics: VD's, Google, Robots, Live8, Africa,...Back to the Future

2005-07-10T06:57:17Z

MangoChutn3y: what the fuck
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: heyy tony. it's time for eeeeeeeeeeeeeeverybody's favorite game show!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: NAME!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: THAT!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: VENERAL DISEASE!
MangoChutn3y: oh, ok.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ok today's contestant is tony retahovaihcs ((that's schiavo-hater backwards.)).
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ok first question this round: "what venereal disease is paris hilton currently diagnosed with?" please answer in VD form.
MangoChutn3y: um.....everything
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: judges?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: YES! correct! and since this joke is dying, YOU WIN!
MangoChutn3y: awesome
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: you win the satisfaction in knowing you didn't think up the single-dumbest skit in floogledorf history.
MangoChutn3y: indeed.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: and the ability to have 1 word responses.
MangoChutn3y: yep.
MangoChutn3y: well, i didnt know we were recording here
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: .......derrr. mic's on. ron burgendy.
MangoChutn3y: oh, well.....im ready. whats the topic
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ...........i have no idea
MangoChutn3y: how about....google.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ....what happens when u look up google in google?
MangoChutn3y: theres some funny pictures
MangoChutn3y: like once i found some crazy black guy that was lookin at the camera pointin at it and it said "GOOGLE MOTHAFUCKA, DO YOU USE IT???"
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: tony.....do you think there's some people...that are actually robots?
MangoChutn3y: im not at liberty to discuss that information.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ....i'll have to run tests while you're sleeping. i'll call the team in.
MangoChutn3y: excellent.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: it only makes sense.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: your fuel cells are powered by mountain dew.
MangoChutn3y: u know, if i really was a robot id be a pretty good one. using mountain dew to power my fuel cells
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: so....what's your primary programming?
MangoChutn3y: lemme do a prog search for it
MangoChutn3y: searching tony........
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ...you were sent back in time to kill me werent you.
MangoChutn3y: my main programming is to rule. hmm, look at that.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: this is gonna be just like the terminator.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: only the humans lose.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: so fuck.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i can just see the headlines now.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: "Arnold Schwartzaneger arrested for beating a high school student."
MangoChutn3y: well, itd be an honor to die by his hands
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: even if he was jack slater from the last action hero.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: and that movie sucked.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: or even the guy from jingle all the way.
MangoChutn3y: he was cool
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: yeah. he uhh.....fought....sinbad.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ....amazing.
MangoChutn3y: he was awesome, stfu n00b
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO TAKE DOWN SINBAD!
MangoChutn3y: he shoulda just shot him up with a minigun
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: yeah....a lot less trouble. a TRUE christmas movie.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: if i remember correctly, the kid doesn't even take the action figure at the end.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i would've beat that kid SENSELESS.
MangoChutn3y: yeah i mean, fucking shit did u see what he did for it??????
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: HE HUNG OUT WITH SINBAD!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: SINBAD!
MangoChutn3y: he shouldve gotten it just for that
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: you could laugh harder at a fucking mass suicide bombing than sinbad. i agree.
MangoChutn3y: well i laugh at the feed the children commercials, so dont use that analogy
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: yeeeah. hungry kids are funny.
MangoChutn3y: i laughed when i saw the commercials for live8
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: well those are effin hilarious.
MangoChutn3y: yeah i think its great to see poverty stricken countries
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: let's go there and pretend to charge them.
MangoChutn3y: lets go buy something and ask if they have change for a 100
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: "fuck man, where's the god damned bank?"
MangoChutn3y: i just want to get some food, then just throw out half of it
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: good plan.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: "yo, where's the white castle in this fucker?"
MangoChutn3y: what do i gotta do to get a bite to eat around here???
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: "guys? Do you know if there's a parking garage somewhere?"
MangoChutn3y: someone should really clean up this place, its a health hazard
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: "hello? HELLO! fuckin foreigners. GET SOME SHOES!"
MangoChutn3y: i dislike those africans.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: STOP GIVING US MALARIA!((we're kidding people...no angry comments.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: go have fun with ur sickle cells.
MangoChutn3y: i want to give them ramen noodles. but no hot water.
MangoChutn3y: i mean, where are they gunna get hot water, or the strength to bite through uncooked ramen
MangoChutn3y: brb
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: k

::later that night::

MangoChutn3y: BACK TO THE FUTURE
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: TIME CIRCUITS ON! CHARGE THE FLUX CAPSITOR!
MangoChutn3y: 88 MILES PER HOUR!!!!!!!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: DOOOOO DOO DOOOO DA DA DOO DOO DOO DOO DA DA DA DA DA DA DAAAAAA DAAAA DOO DOO DOOO!!!!!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: that's the theme song.
MangoChutn3y: pretty good

Today's Topics: Yogurt, Heman, Revenge for Hire, Tom Bennet

2005-07-05T06:07:23Z

We figured we'd try something new this time around, a special guest, tell us what you think.
Lord Timguana=Tim Mcgullam

GaGs Vs AmErIcA: this meeting of the floogledorf convention will come to order
Lord Timguana: Yes, cuban B
MangoChutn3y: i had lucky charms
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: silence nave! now. i open the floor to new business.
MangoChutn3y: well, whats the topic?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ........idk.
Lord Timguana: mongoloids?
MangoChutn3y: any of u guys have fruit on the bottom yogurt?
Lord Timguana: no
Lord Timguana: i can get some, i got it downstairs
MangoChutn3y: that shits bullshit, why cant it come pre-mixed
Lord Timguana: some do
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: because it's mexican.
Lord Timguana: its for lazy people who dont wanna stur
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: mexican and gay.
MangoChutn3y: i dont feel like diggin around for strayberrys, that shit should be prepared ahead of time
Lord Timguana: put it in a paintshaker
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: gay
Lord Timguana: that will fix it
MangoChutn3y: you wanna know what that is? thats a load of nigger, thats what.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: that's like oreos u have 2 put 2gether.
Lord Timguana: yeah
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: bullshite.
MangoChutn3y: yeah wtfing shit. yogurt companies suck teh ballz0r
Lord Timguana: It should say "some assembly required" or whatnot
MangoChutn3y: they should warn me
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i saw mr. softee today.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: still $5 for a milkshake.
MangoChutn3y: that guys a cheap pedaphile
Lord Timguana: you just get the stuff and run
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: he hands it 2 u after u give him the money dumb.
Lord Timguana: not all the time
Lord Timguana: i know people who jacked his ice cream
MangoChutn3y: yeah, its called just walk away. whats he gunna do
Lord Timguana: drive after you?
MangoChutn3y: hes mr. fucking softee, its mandatory to take shit
Lord Timguana: lol
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: the name says it all.
Lord Timguana: HE SELLS ICE CREAM FOR A LIVING
MangoChutn3y: OUT OF A GOD DAM TRUCK
Lord Timguana: he doesnt deserve life
Lord Timguana: he lives in that thing
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: TO CHILDREN...AT NIGHT.
Lord Timguana: i garentee it
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: anybody else notice this convo is sliding ever-so-slowly down shit hill?
Lord Timguana: yeah
MangoChutn3y: not really. stfu n00b
Lord Timguana: like sledding
Lord Timguana: but no snow
Lord Timguana: or sleds for that matter
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: heman was the shit.
MangoChutn3y: heman was definitly gay, or didnt know what gay was.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: no. that'd be skeletor.
MangoChutn3y: u know he got made fun of, alot.
Lord Timguana: him and skelitor
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: that guy had gay written all over him.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: yeah probably.
Lord Timguana: he was a walkin pile of bones
MangoChutn3y: like his friends were like "here comes heman the fruitcake" and hed just be like, "i kill stuff"
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: or "i have a sword....so i'm right."
Lord Timguana: yeah
MangoChutn3y: he did kick some major ass
Lord Timguana: his sword was fuckin cool
MangoChutn3y: didnt he have some tiger thing he rode around on?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: yeah.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: it was green.
MangoChutn3y: oh yeah, that thing
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: so the show itself is an acid trip marketed to kids.
MangoChutn3y: his sword was kinda like conan the barbarians, right?
Lord Timguana: yeah
MangoChutn3y: that shit pwns life itself
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: yeah. but nothing like conan obriens.
Lord Timguana: but hes in no way on par with arnold
MangoChutn3y: yeah but those swords aint got shit on mine
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: urs is the highlander sword.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: did u cut off sean connery's head?
MangoChutn3y: i dont have the highlander sword, i might buy it later on tho
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i'd call that 1 on ur wall the highlander sword.
Lord Timguana: THATS THE SWORD OF KINGS
MangoChutn3y: the one on my walls the kings sword from lotr, it tore shit up
MangoChutn3y: all the bad guys in that movie were like raaar and then STABINYOURMOTHERFUCKINGFACEYOUSTUPIDMONGOLOID
Lord Timguana: thats a great word
MangoChutn3y: yeah, its new. patent pending.
Lord Timguana: whoever invented it should be king
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: is it inappropriate to refer to trunk size on a car in the manner of "wow! you could fit 3...maybe 4 kids in there!"
Lord Timguana: not really
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: good.
MangoChutn3y: i said that about elizs car when she first got it, i said wow u can fit like 8 bodies back there. and i said it seriously
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: well i meant like about those kids that died in the trunk.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: u didnt hear about that?
MangoChutn3y: i heard everything else.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ....we should start a revenge for hire business.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: plain and simple.
Lord Timguana: good
MangoChutn3y: yeah, but who would hire us
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: tom bennet.
Lord Timguana: lol
MangoChutn3y: he cant read.
Lord Timguana: and we kick his ass too
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: we'll make a commercial.
MangoChutn3y: let alone define "revenge"
MangoChutn3y: god i hope hes not reading this, hell kill me when he comes in with a gun
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i wanna just write that in his year book.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: "i'm writing in this....so AIM AWAY FROM ME!"
MangoChutn3y: i want to hang out with him, see what he likes to do
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: sit quietly...alone.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: and pull up his socks.
Lord Timguana: that kids gonna come in with a fuckin shotty
MangoChutn3y: and get his shoulder tore off from the kickback.
MangoChutn3y: he can barely lift his binder. hes a bendersky copy
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: maybe he'll hire us to shoot people.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ya think?
MangoChutn3y: depends on who
MangoChutn3y: and how much.
MangoChutn3y: tim u suck (0(/<
Lord Timguana: i beg to differ
MangoChutn3y: whos 1337? thats me, thanks.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ....nah u suck.
Lord Timguana: dude now that you mentioned that skeletor is gay i have to watch the "Skeletor VS Beastman" video
Lord Timguana: matt
Lord Timguana: shut the fuck up
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ummm no....u suck.
MangoChutn3y: mats 1335, not fully 1337
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: suck-face.
Lord Timguana: this video is too fuckin funny
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: we cant talk about a video people arent watching tim.
Lord Timguana: i CAN put the link here
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: .....no.
MangoChutn3y: sucky mcsuckersuck
Lord Timguana: but its so horribly fucked up
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: as are you.
Lord Timguana: ok summy mcscummerton
Lord Timguana: matt
Lord Timguana: why do you think of anyone YOU have the right to talk
Lord Timguana: need i mention how horribly people own your life?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: .....because i don't suck.
MangoChutn3y: i just spilt a few drops of mountain dew on my keyboard. and drank it.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: sucky suck suck suck.
Lord Timguana: with or without a straw
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ....addiction?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: maybe.
MangoChutn3y: its delicious
MangoChutn3y: im drinking a 2 liter now.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: shouldn't you have some kinda of massive super-heart attack eventually?
Lord Timguana: someone definatly put crack in his first can of MD and hes been drinkin it hopin to get high ever sence
MangoChutn3y: me? yeah, probably.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i think that about does it for tonight gentlemen.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: closing statements?
MangoChutn3y: ill think of one, gimme a moment.
Lord Timguana: uhhh
Lord Timguana: it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: hey y'know what? just say balls.
MangoChutn3y: le sigh. might as well.
MangoChutn3y: should we do something....like a countdown?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ok.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: 10.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: 9.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: balls..
MangoChutn3y: 8 seconds later
MangoChutn3y: balls
Lord Timguana: 5
Lord Timguana: oh wait, i think i fucked up
MangoChutn3y: go home tim, just go.
Lord Timguana: :'(

Lord Timguana has left the room.

MangoChutn3y: WTFING SHIT
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: special guests....is this a good idea?
MangoChutn3y: hell no, hes fired. dont send his check.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: agreed. meeting adjourned. bring on the mountain dew and strippers.
MangoChutn3y: mountain dew and strippers are my heaven. where are the strippas?
MangoChutn3y: Dear reader, were sorry for having such a long convo this time, please just read it anyways. The Floogledorf Doctrine thanks you for your time, and remember: your our number one customer!

Today's Topics: Patriotism ((wait till' tomorrow))

2005-07-04T05:01:51Z

MangoChutn3y: we really ought to update the doctrine
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: hmmmm.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: 2morrow.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: we'll make it all patriotic....not.
MangoChutn3y: LOLZ0RS
MangoChutn3y: i think we should just blow up some immigrants with fireworks, doesnt get much more patriotic then that
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ....we could do that same thing....while holding red white and blue glow sticks or sparklers.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: THAT'S patriotism.
MangoChutn3y: yes!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: FROM SEA TO SHININGGGGGGGGGGG
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: SEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
MangoChutn3y: THEN THE MEXICANS EXPLODE!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: WE'LL WEAR TARPS LIKE AT THOSE GALLAGHER SHOWS!
MangoChutn3y: YES!!!!!

Gags, all by his lonesome

2005-06-28T16:09:26Z

Mmk. My turn for the solo rant. Now I get to make fun of some people. And this here rant’s been loooooong overdue. Wigger. The word that has the potential to be the downfall of human existence as we know it.

But what is a Wigger? Let’s explore the term itself. Urban Dictionary defines it as “A male caucasion, usually born and raised in the suburbs that displays a strong desire to emulate African American Hip Hop culture and style through "Bling" fashion and generally accepted "thug life" guiding principles.” Herein lies the problem. If you walk out of your house at night with a hubcap chained around your neck, a bandanna hanging out your back pocket and a not-so-bright look on your face, you deserve a thorough ass-kicking. Don’t get me wrong fuckheads. Your crooked visor? Quite poser. And your ecko ltd. shorts that you trip over when you walk? Truly Wiggerific.

But we here at The Floogledorf doctrine feel no need to impose our beliefs on the people themselves. I just think it’s hilarious where said person will be in a few years. Tricking out their wheely-walker and “blinging” up their IV stand in the old folks home.

At this point we’re supposed to give an example of the lyrics that this particular group of people created. Well, the only problem with that is, their genre is stolen. Rap was made in the black community, not in Tyler Smith’s basement. ((He makes you call him T-dog or T-nite.)) And Pimp My Ride? Not exactly contributing to stopping this increase in the following. “Hey, let’s put a movie theater, a barbeque and a dinosaur ranch in this guy’s hatchback.”

This is Sean. Sean is boarderline wigger. From the looks of this picture, i'd say level 3 of 5. He is in danger. Do you want this man...to father children?
I think not. Help stop Wiggerism. Talk to your friends about being wiggers. You might be the only hope they have. If you would like to adopt Sean, please call 1-800-FLOOGLEDORF. That's too many numbers...all the more reason to call.

In closing, the problem is most certainly going to get worse before it gets better. Call me crazy, but I believe there’s little to no danger in a member of the black community slapping on some Abercrombie and biting into a big mayonnaise sandwich. Do you know why? Because at least they’re original. So enjoy your stolen lifestyle you loids. Fo sho’.

That’s it kids. You know the drill. Comment or don’t. Love, Gags. PAYCE OUT NUCCA!

Teh Mango, goin solo.

2005-06-28T05:07:44Z

I think its time to make fun of a certain group of people. I think im just goin to make fun of a fairly easy and basic group.....emos. First off, you look like a fucking mongoloid. I swear to god, I cant remember the last time having long hair purposely pushed in front of your face was cool. When the hell did not being able to see become fashionable. Or as these fagz0rs say, fashioncore. One last point on the fashion thing: girls pants. I can only imagine why there called girls pants. Theres no excuse for wearing girls pants, except if your crossdressing. So yeah, if your wearing girls pants and your a guy...your clearly gay.

Second, your music sucks. I really cant put it in a simpler way. The lyrics are whiny and bitchy, with more complaining in a 2 minute song then there is collectively at the Department of Motor Vehicles. If you dont believe me, here are some lyrics to prove it:
"And I can't make it on my own.
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone."

Which brings me to my next point, the whole "waahhh my life sucks lemme go kill myself" thing. Back to the song for a second, how do you expect to cut your wrists then black your eyes. After you cut yourself your arms are gunna be all spaghetti so good luck applying that so very fashioncore makeup. If there are so many emo kids that think there life sucks so much that they want to kill themselves, yet I dont see a decrease in population, ive come to a conclusion: Emo kids are failures. Apparently there life sucks because they cant do anything right, and on top of that they cant even suceed in committing suicide. For fucks sake, get a haircut and stop flailing around like a convulsing epileptic, thats not dancing.

So as a final note, heres a dramatic recreation of an emo kid doing what they do best...failing.

(photo compliments of "Dont Feed Terri")

Well, thats all kids. Comment if you like it or not, or suggest something to write about.
-Over and out, Teh Mango.

Tonight's Topics: Billy Grahm the old preacher fuck, God, Air Conditioning, Land of the Dead, Balls.

2005-06-28T04:04:45Z

GaGs Vs AmErIcA: u know that old preacher billy grahm?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: we should go there push him off the stage and just have a conversation.
MangoChutn3y: we can preach live!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: FUCK YEAH!
MangoChutn3y: well have to kill the preacher
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: he's like 90...we'd only have to scare him a little.
MangoChutn3y: or we can just misdirect him, hed probably get lost alone
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: "can you nice boys tell me where to find the stage?"

"go turn right four times and walk through that door."

GaGs Vs AmErIcA: and inside is a fat guy with a hammer.
MangoChutn3y: will this hammer make a comical sound effect upon impact?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i bet if we hit hard enough it'd sound like a boxing glove punching a kanish.
MangoChutn3y: good enough
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: that old preacher fuck is gonna be on 2nite.
MangoChutn3y: oh well where is he
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: not on tv...he needed to do this in some big place so he can finally find his place at the side of satan.
MangoChutn3y: well, hes probably gunna die early.
MangoChutn3y: because, as we all know, god doesnt exist. which was previously proven on ur physics regents.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: very true.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: it just didn't add up.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: it's so fucking cold in here. but i refuse to turn down my air-conditioner.
MangoChutn3y: then itll get too hot
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: yeah, who the shit needs that?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: the vampires. that's who.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: idk why...but i'm sure they do.
MangoChutn3y: turning down ur air conditioner is so nigger
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: there's the connection.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i knew we'd find it.
MangoChutn3y: why do i make such great one worders
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: what? like "balls"?
MangoChutn3y: fuck yeah
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: how would one say "fucktard" in leet speak?
MangoChutn3y: lemme translate that for u
MangoChutn3y: F|_|/<t@r|)>
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ....did i ever tell you that leet speak might be a wee bit too complicated?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: hawiaiian fat guys rule.
MangoChutn3y: yeah he eats zombies, u know it
MangoChutn3y: he didnt even shoot a single zombie the whole movie
MangoChutn3y: he just knocked that one hoe out
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: true. but he made me believe in myself.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: mmk. that about does it for today i should think.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: closing statement?
MangoChutn3y: ok lemme actually get a closing statement in....other then u know, balls.
MangoChutn3y: you know what? balls.

Today's Subjects: The Grading System, Matt Bendersky, Superheros,Communists, racism and balls

2005-06-27T03:44:40Z

MangoChutn3y: hey its matt!
MangoChutn3y: the school is a fucking giant down syndrome infested sack of garbage. do u know why matt????
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: huhbuh?
MangoChutn3y: my math regents, 52% failed. and the curve was already on the report card. so i failed, along with 52% of our grade.
MangoChutn3y: and this is the good part, my chem regents. there was a DOWNWARD CURVE. i passed with a 67, they minused 4 fucking points so i failed
MangoChutn3y: I FAILED BECAUSE SOME FUCKING CUNT DECIDED ITD BE FUNNY TO DO THE COMPLETE GOD DAMN OPPOSITE OF WHAT A CURVE SHOULD DO! THAT'S SO NIGGER!
MangoChutn3y: so my 63 is really supposed to be a 67.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: tony, a wise man once said "you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink."
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: unfortuneately that has nothing to do with this.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: that sucks.
MangoChutn3y: im gunna go to the school tomorrow and make that fuckin zulu warrior give me my 4 points back
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i think you should kill her first-born.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: that'd show her.
MangoChutn3y: she doesnt have any, who the fuck would fuck that ugly disfigured loudmouthed piece of fuck?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: matt bendersky.
MangoChutn3y: HE EVEN HAS SOME STANDARDS
MangoChutn3y: but a drunk bendersky, possible
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: are you kidding? matt bendersky is the worst possible result of an orgasm.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: he'd screw it if it moved.
MangoChutn3y: im going to burn down the school, and punch the next kid that bothers me a tiny bit tomorrow in school
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: .....school's been over for weeks tony.
MangoChutn3y: yeah but theres definately more kids there complaining
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: no. no1 has the ballzors to complain other than you.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: that's why you have to.
MangoChutn3y: im going to go there and beat someone within an inch of there life
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: yeah! and pee on them too!....y'know.....give it an edge.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: oooo wow a missed call.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: it's from 4am.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: therefore it's either a werewolf or an alien.
MangoChutn3y: another death threat?
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: possibly. but who wants me dead now?
MangoChutn3y: i dont.
MangoChutn3y: not many anymore
MangoChutn3y: so ur lucky
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: scoreeee. back to the soothing comfort of unpopularity.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: They should invent action figures that are just fat with no superpowers. Then the youth of today might respect people like me.
MangoChutn3y: oh yeah
MangoChutn3y: well if they did then wed actually have real-life "superheroes"
MangoChutn3y: i mean how many people do u know can smash through a wall. and come out conscious.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: .....hey, i don't know what that guy brian yuen does in his spare time.
MangoChutn3y: hes most likely has some super-intelligence power
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: he fights crime under cover of night as the red-menace. handing out pro-communist pamphlets to those repressed by capitalist society.
MangoChutn3y: THE ABILITY TO CREATE A PSP OUT OF AIR IN 5.7 SECONDS!!!!
MangoChutn3y: my oh my was that racist. well this is coming from a kid that refers to a chinese kid as "sony"
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: remember when we were like "a boy just like you made this in china."
MangoChutn3y: haha yeah, i actually said he built it for me. but yeah that was pretty funny too
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: he's just pissed bc in his country you need a briefcase full of money for lunch.
MangoChutn3y: go there with 10$, see how much yen that is
MangoChutn3y: probably a hundred million
MangoChutn3y: which is probably lunch at an ok restaurant there.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: these convos just get exponentially more and more racist don't they?
MangoChutn3y: yeah, well it keeps it goin
MangoChutn3y: but its not that i hate that race or anything, its just funny to say stuff like that
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: yeah....ever1 knows we're kidding...so there's no need to sue. ;)
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: i find this is an adequate 2nd entry.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: say something conclusive.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ...just say balls.
MangoChutn3y: yeah i was going to make one of those closing speech/statements
MangoChutn3y: so yeah, balls works.....here it comes..
MangoChutn3y: balls
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: nicely done.
MangoChutn3y: for shizzle.

1st Entry.....n00b.

2005-06-26T04:23:00Z

MangoChutn3y: HEY
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: BUH!?
MangoChutn3y: BALLZ0R
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: sounds like a villian from a sex-ed video.
MangoChutn3y: ballz0r the impregnator!!!!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: the hero?
MangoChutn3y: yeah eff that ish
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: so just ballzor? where's the fun in JUST a bad guy?
MangoChutn3y: well the good guys probably albert abstinence
MangoChutn3y: but thats not really an object, so fuck albert. or as hed prefer, no fucking. just leave him alone.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: or you could have me, i'm a super sex safe hero.
MangoChutn3y: we should make a video about safe sex
MangoChutn3y: but it escalates into random clips of hardcore porn and 12 oz mouse.
MangoChutn3y: matt. i got it!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ?
MangoChutn3y: we can make....The Terri Schiavo documentary
MangoChutn3y: we can have a movie where its just tim sitting in a bed
MangoChutn3y: and have other funny shit, like haloween for terri shciavo. we can paint his face orange and hair green so terris a vegetable for haloween
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: or we could fix her up a little so she can go as a retard.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: wow that was harsh.
MangoChutn3y: that was fuckin hilarious
MangoChutn3y: we should make a first entry
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: yes we should.
MangoChutn3y: OMG I GOT A NEW COMMENT AND FRIEND REQUEST ON MYSPACE ITS MY LUCKY DAY SOMEONE LIKES ME
MangoChutn3y: i mean, oh look a comment and friend request. i guess ill look at it
MangoChutn3y: YES, CUBAN B
MangoChutn3y: that was it
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: our icon's up.
MangoChutn3y: shit yeah
MangoChutn3y: i look black.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: sry that's just how it came out.
MangoChutn3y: AFRICAN!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: ITS NOT MY FAULT! YOUR CATOON SKIN'S IMPOSSIBLE!
MangoChutn3y: RACIST BASTARD!!!!!!!!!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: I'LL BUTTER YOUR BEAN!
MangoChutn3y: ILL FIX YOUR WAGON!
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: don't make me go frazzle snazzle on you. you do NOT wanna see me get outta this chair....i'm reeeeeeal good at hiding.
MangoChutn3y: oh yeah, im the captain of the hide and seek team for america
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: yeah? well we asked if they sell razorblades in hot topic.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: how that's related i don't know.
MangoChutn3y: well thats great
MangoChutn3y: cause there emo. and they whine more then the jews compain.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: mmk i think we smeared enough racism all over this here first entry.
GaGs Vs AmErIcA: good day sir.
MangoChutn3y: PAYCE NUCCA